Manic Monday

Don't you wish it was still Sunday? Well, The Bangles did, and frankly, I do too!

It was a relatively nice weekend. Friday, my wife, Shari, and I fell asleep on the couch, but we did enjoy a nice dinner together before falling asleep! Saturday, we went out to my old stomping grounds of Hoboken, NJ. I lived in Hoboken from 2000-2003 and loved every minute of it, even when I was unemployed. There is a restaurant for every taste, a bar for ever drinker, and it's literally a hop, skip and a jump from NYC. We went out for some casual Italian dining, and then went to a bar where I was a regular for most of my time in Hoboken: Far Side. It's a bar with a nice atmosphere, good bartenders, good drinks, and they installed 3 brand new HDTV's to make the sports viewing very pleasant and a lot of fun. Years ago, I used to meet friends at Far Side every Tuesday night. We knew the bartender well and always got our share of free drinks. And our dart throwing skills got really good, too. It was a lot of fun, and being there again brought back some very pleasant memories, even though during that time, life wasn't very easy.

Sunday, it was great to see the NY Giants beat the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the first round of the NFL playoffs. I don't think the Giants will make it to the Super Bowl, but the team has been more cohesive this season, and I'm happy for their success. Coach Coughlin deserves to come back next season, and I hope he does. After the game, it was over to Mom's house for steak dinner. It was warm enough today to throw a few steaks on the grill. Nothing like a home-cooked steak!

But one of the most difficult things for me to do is walk into my Mom's house with Dad not there. When I go into the house, I find myself looking around to see if he's in his usual spot on the couch, or if he is in his office playing the card game "Spider" on the computer. I can't put into words anymore how I feel about Dad being gone. I don't wish this feeling on anyone, but it's difficult to understand if you've never experienced it.

He died too young, and deserved so much more, including being at my sister's wedding, which took place just 6 weeks after he died. And, I can't begin to explain how helpless I feel when I see Mom cry. We read some of the doctor's records we received which included the information about his unsuccessful bypass surgery. Dad, physically, just had no more heart. Even the machines couldn't keep him alive. As difficult a man as he was, and even though he wasn't around much when I was younger to see me in band concerts or to stay up late with, I always loved him, and even though I rarely got it, I always wanted some love and affection back from him. But it didn't matter. He is my only Father, I love him, and he gave my family and me everything to make sure we had an easy a life as possible. He deserved to live and experience so much more. But I know he knows what's going on and I know he's watching down on his entire family and in his own way, Dad is taking care of us.

Thing is now, I still constantly worry about the little things, and worry about getting up for work on Monday morning, rather than thanking G-D for letting me wake up another day, even though I will never know why He took Dad when He did.